love relationship contents

It probably goes without saying that people can and do use  Facebook  to monitor the activities of their current romantic partners (Marshall, Bejanyan, Di Castro & Lee, 2013). Further, the evidence suggests that one third of people also use Facebook to monitor the activities of  former  partners (Chaulk & Jones, 2011). Provided that this surveillance behavior does not intrude on or adversely affect the life or well-being of an ex, is such behavior a problem? Strictly speaking, surveillance behavior would be defined as actively looking through an ex-partner’s Facebook profile, whereas simply  remaining  Facebook friends would not necessarily mean actively looking for information regarding an ex-partner on Facebook.  A further question, which we pose here, is: Does the continued surveillance of an ex-partner, or even remaining friends with an ex-partner, have the effect of delaying a person’s emotional recovery following a breakup, or do...

A new study finds practical strategies to cope with a breakup. “Hearts will never be practical until they can be made unbreakable,” said the Wizard in L. Frank Baum's classic,  The Wonderful Wizard of Oz.  Indeed, the end of a relationship can wreak consequences greater than feeling negatively for a time. When it comes to romantic breakups, it is hardly unusual to feel sadness,  anger , and/or  shame . But such dissolutions can also lead to  insomnia , poor immune functioning, broken heart syndrome,  depression , and even  suicide . Though the heart may not be practical, as Baum put it, are there practical strategies people can use to recover from a breakup? This question was the focus of a recent study conducted by Sandra J.E. Langeslag and Michelle Sanchez of the University of Missouri at St. Louis. They reasoned that because enduring feelings of love for an ex-partner can make breaking up so devastating, it may be helpful to ...

Breakups can be hard. In extreme cases, they can lead to physical and mental health problems . Breakups are especially difficult when you still have feelings for an ex . And these feelings can surface over and over whenever you're reminded of your ex  — running into them at a party, seeing their latest Facebook post. Friends may advise you to "move on" and stop pining over an ex. But how do you move on? What is the best way to help you get over those feelings? Do you simply try to distract yourself by pursuing hobbies and spending time with friends? Do you comfort yourself by saying it's normal to still pine for your ex? Or do you convince yourself that your ex was not worth being with in the first place, and focus on his/her faults? In a new study just published in the  Journal of Experimental Psychology: General , Langeslag and Sanchez  explored the effectiveness of these different strategies for coping with a breakup when we en...

One more superpower to add to the profile of people unafraid of being single. Some people have a very hard time with romantic breakups. They feel despair when a romantic relationship ends. They pine for their ex. They keep trying to get back together. Some become so obsessed that their ex, out of exasperation, cuts off all contact completely. Other people are much less troubled by breakups. You won’t hear them going on and on about how they are still so in love with their ex. They are not constantly texting them and calling them. They are better at moving on. There are probably a lot of psychological characteristics that distinguish those who keep longing for their ex and those who seem better adjusted, psychologically, after a breakup. From a set of studies, we now know that one of those characteristics is a person’s attitude about being single. People who are psychologically  resilient  after breakups are unafraid of being single. The hangers-on are more like...

Women. Stereotypically, they are obsessed with marrying. That’s supposed to be their life goal. Much more so than men, they are expected to feel crushed by the prospect of living single. That’s probably why, when scholars and writers in the popular press talk about single people, they focus overwhelmingly on single women. And yet, when people marry — including both women and men — they typically do not become lastingly happier  or healthier  than when they were single. There are even indications that overall health may decrease . When studies do find  sex  differences, it is more often the men who seem to need marriage more. Maybe, counterintuitively, women are the ones who are especially likely to want to live alone. In our cultural imaginations, men are supposed to be the rugged individualists, the solo explorers, and the swaggering cowboys. But maybe, in fact, they are the ones pining for a live-in partner. You wouldn’t th...